A year of "Serious Boy"

Time flies when you're having fun is a sh*t rule! My little boy is now three years old (going on 50!) and it sometimes feels like yesterday when he first came home from the hospital.

I've got lots of nicknames for Cullan, most of which are endearing and the worst of which is my "little monster" (which I actually mean affectionately because he's bigger than most of the kids he meets), but the latest is "Serious Boy". Despite (or because) his Dad struggles to put the camera down, Cullan generally avoids posing for photographs. As a result, my photograph collection of him looks like a moody documentary project with very little eye contact.

It's funny because he's a criminal comedic genius; this week I posed the question "Shall we wake Mum up with a kiss and a hug?", and it was met with the instant response "No... I'm going to get my drum!". Yet in most of his portraits he looks incredibly sombre, the kind of black-and-white picture a children's charity would love to use for fundraising.

It's one of the things I love about his character. His focus is intense when he's doing something, but he always takes time to look for fun. Here's a bit of both sides in the last 12 months.

 

Happy Birthday Serious Boy!
Dad :-)

A letter to my son

For the longest time I looked forward to being a dad. As the eldest of four boys I've grown up used to having noisy monsters in the house. These things said I don't think you can ever be prepared for the difference it makes to you and your life. Since my beautiful Cullan came along, things that have never bothered me before terrify me and keep me awake at night. How do I keep him safe? Support him so he grows up to be a good person?

I've never been bothered flying in an aeroplane, I figure if anything goes wrong there's little I can contribute and insufficient time to worry about it. But since I became a Dad I have a knot in my stomach each time I travel without him, each time I visit hospital or some gobsh*te almost runs me over while I cross the road. What contribution have I made for him and would he even remember me if I didn't make it home?

Not the nicest of thoughts but I did come up with a form of solution. While my little monster grows into a little man, I will write him letters and share what I can. Hopefully we can read them together and he can poke fun at his sentimental old man :-) I'll share the first one here:


Dear Cullan,

I've been proud of you since the day you were born. You'll make loads of mistakes in your life but that won't change how I feel and I'll be there for you as long as is possible.

Try to avoid regret - follow your instincts but even when bad things happen they make us better.

You can be attracted to and love a man, woman or both, from any race or background. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

Never give up on love - it's the most important thing in life and the one thing you never really own. When someone gives you theirs make sure you earn it.

Be respectful to everyone but respect only those that deserve it.

Work and play should be the same thing. Find something you enjoy and make that your life. There are plenty of ways to pay the rent, but very few will make you happy at the same time. You don't have to be a footballer or a rockstar for this, working in an office might be the thing that gets you up in the morning. Whatever it is, find it and be happy.

Always ask questions - they're more important than the answers. I've been accused of having no faith, but I don't think that's true. I have faith in people, not in magic or in the gods we create. The world is a wonderful place full of mysteries and things we will never understand, but that's ok. To stop questioning is to stop thinking for yourself. You have one life and it is yours to live.

Don't trust politicians - they offer empty promises in return for power. Anyone that aims to rule is clearly incapable, at some point you'll discover what power does to people.

Try to make a difference - even if it's to one person.

Aspire to be better than those before you (especially me) - at what is for you to realise.

"Do as I say not as I do" - this is a stupid rule. If I say this to you ignore it and remind me I told you this.

Hopefully by the time you read this they will have the offending items, if not - Star Wars starts at number four and ends with six.

Love,
Dad x

Outside? Yeah I remember that!

I've had some busy times recently and sadly it's not been with my photography. A recent visit to the hospital left me all Jimmy Stewart in Rear Window (that would be Shia Labeouf in Disturbia for the young film buffs). In short, I've been housebound and grumpy.

I'd love to say it inspired me to take the opportunity to do some still life shots or a bit of product stuff but no. A combination of a lot of pain and a lot of sleeping has resulted in me watching every film the television has to offer and seeing very little sunlight.

As always, there is of course a silver-lining. I did get to spend a lot more time with my little monster, who is growing so quickly I fear he'll soon overtake me. I'm also feeling much better as each day passes so I'll have little excuse not to hold my camera and get on with some projects. I've already managed to take a few shots in the house and out the back garden. All of these shots were with a 100mm macro which despite focusing slower than my gran (or son when he's distracted by cartoons), is a beautiful lens. 

Although the days are getting noticeably colder, the sun is still making an appearance. Despite my crippling fear of spiders (not an exaggeration in the slightest, they are my kryptonite!), I had to photograph the amazing webs that catch the sun in our back garden. I shot fast before the occupants showed up :-)

Tom :-)

Visiting Home

So another long absence from the inter-verse and some more photographs to show for it. I'm slowly making progress through my images but it's been a hectic couple of months to say the least. In that time I did manage to spend some time back home in Ireland.

It seems a bit odd to be calling Ireland 'home' when it's been almost 10 years since I moved to England. At the time I'd planned to travel much further than Birmingham, but I won't complain when I can fly to Dublin in less than an hour :)

For our latest trip home we decided to go by train and boat. It seemed sensible at the time given Cullan's love for all that appears in Thomas the Tank Engine. But we'd underestimated the enjoyment level of an eight-hour journey with a little man with an even shorter attention span.

I think we all enjoyed this last trip the most. Cullan enjoying his daily ritual of a lollipop and playing on mommy's iphone while waiting for his uncles to wake up. A trip to the beach, zoo and as much fun as he could have with everyone. Plus a day dressed as Spider-man (I wore my hulk t-shirt!).

As always, too little time and too few people caught up with. Maybe the lottery will be kind and next time can be longer!

Tom :)

Cullan Year Two

I couldn't let the month of March end without a small post for my little man Cullan. My monster angel is two years old and makes me happier than I could ever have imagined. He also consistently terrorises his mother and I but I think that's part of his job ;-)

It has definitely been one of 'those weeks' for me. While the glorious sun has been bleaching the photographs on my window ledge, I have been living what can only be described as an episode of House (albeit a very dull one, with no actual risk to life). 

Having started the week off in remarkably good form, I have worked my way through bouts of sickness, nausea, dizziness and headaches to finally reach the diagnosis of . . . ear infection. Ear infection!?! I get them quite regularly to be honest and they can vary from mildly annoying to agonisingly painful, but never as weird as this and certainly not as clandestine.

It's been particularly hard watching Cullan run outside to play and then call for me to join him :-( The most energetic thing I've managed so far is to stand up and log onto my computer to type this post (and that's only because the painkillers aren't working and I cannot sleep). 

As if that wasn't fun enough our lovely boiler decided to commit harakiri and started leaking in the kitchen next to a bunch of electrical outlets. So with that in mind I'm thinking of investing in a lottery ticket as I'm sure I'm due some good luck!

The picture above shows Cullan on his birthday, enjoying sliding with the help of his uncle Ryan. Ryan came to visit with my mam (mum for readers in England) and was dragged everywhere Cullan went - "look Ryan a haeroplane!" :-)

Breithlá shona dhuit mo mhac x

Cullan - two days old: